Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dear Mike Bradley,

We were predestined to be friends.
And, predestined to be enemies.

It all started when we weren't even conceived yet.
Your mom was an after school sports teacher.
My mom did after school sports.
They became friends.
My mom even just said "I love Jean!"

I only met you really in like Senior year. 
I knew of you before then, but we never hung out or partied together. 
I guess you could say Raffi Kahane brought our friendship together.
We certainly do enjoy partying, and we hate school.
That's about all we have in common.

You nut for Immortal Technique.
I can't stand him.
You care way too much about sports.
Sports are fun to watch, but to me, nothing to blog about.
You drink beer.
I, hard alcohol. (Sorry, Mom.)
You "Sotally Dupe" people. You invented that phrase when you were belligerent, and to this day, you make excuses saying that you said "So totally dupe". Just own up to it.
I, on the other hand, don't make up stupid words when certain substances enter my bloodstream. (Sorry again, Mom.)
You can drop some pretty impressive "bars" (stinging, harsh, quick insults (for those not accustomed to the Atlantic County area)).
I can drop bars just as well.

Like that one time at Raffi's house. 
You were singing, came up to me and said "Max, you know you like my singing voice."
I then counted with a short trip down Memory Lane, of that time you sang N*Sync to get with that girl. To cap it all off, I said, "Yeah, how did that work out?"
You still hate me to this day for that one.
I do not know if you read my Valentine's Day post. If you didn't, do so. We're even.

But one day, I think we're going to have to put aside our differences.
We may even have to fight it out. 
It is just something that will have to be done, with no hard feelings.

But, Mike, I can truly say, through all of our arguments, I love you.
No homo.



  1. While I, too, love you, no homo, bringing up the specific bar had no reason.
    I read the Valentine's Day blog. And I thin karma will come around every time you bring up that bar.
    Unless I unleash an equally hellacious bar, which I won't, out of respect and fear for karma.
    Very good post, I may have to counter it on my own emo blog.

  2. and to those who may want to ask, I don't want to talk about now, nor ever again, who the person in Max's bar actually is.

    that is all.

  3. max, i am curious about what substance has entered your blood stream - something *other than* alcohol?

    do tell.